Ok, so Pete got back to me with his volley, albeit incomplete.
For never touching Objective-C or Cocoa in his life, he took on a rather ambitious volley: turning my simple “speaking magic eight ball” into a speaking RSS feed reader.
He found Apple’s Publication Subscription framework, and went to town trying to get it to work. I took a quick look at the code, and it seems I’ll have to do some reading in the documentation before I can fix it.
Hopefully this doesn’t spell the end for our Code Tennis match..
Check out the code on github.